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[04 Jan 2005|09:47am] |
Finding myself in a relationship that is actually very commited, I figure out a few things and I wonder why my significant other bothers to stay with me. Only because of factors such as
-Look at me, im nothing special
-Look at all the others that are constantly hitting on them
-I get jealous easily (even if it doesnt seem like that)
<---I need to get my act straighten up
I dont show much whats going on with me either, I dont know wether to call it a good or a bad thing.
Just, I believe that my emotions are stupid and that its always just me being paranoid. That they shouldn't deal with my shit,but let me deal with theirs <---because they are very important and I should put them higher then me.
Jealousy though, Let me touch on the subject
I've had times where I wanted to make the jealous and I bet im not the only person in the world who has ever done this. The times you make up stories or the times where you actually have a real story to tell (because your lucky,you got someone to hit on you! or well if your drop dead gorgeous you have people already hitting on you daily). Do I make any bit of sense here?
I feel that Jealousy is a part of hatred,anguish and paranoia,
it can make you grin coldly or it can make you cry your eyes out or even make you depressed.
All maybe making you act with a front, or a real bitch, or just sourly at the one you love.
Maybe if I buffed myself up like those weight lifters who have small heads and big bodies I would get loved more, even by my own love?
Or If I was an actual pretty boy?
Maybe if I was white? <--- I know I sound racial there,sorry about that
Maybe if I was someone else...
Maybe...Maybe...Maybe...so many Maybe's
Maybe if I wasnt so dam jealous alot that id comment on their Journal for once without hassling.
In my belief and my experience, I find that when you are in Love or you fall in love...
everything turns upside down and you will lose everything you had that life and be welcomed to
the new one that you just happened to have your head stumble in a door thats been sitting there all along covered in dust.
Whatever you hold in your head now and your heart,even future goals, will change...
You will find yourself just wanting to be that one person and your friends cant even help that feeling,so you throw them off to the side making that one person your entire world.
Too get further in a relationship you have to lose everything before you can fully have them.
I have lost about almost everything, whats left is a job and this crummy state. Which sounds easy to leave, but it isn't and I dont bother to get into my full work details.
Just to make this short, so I can save thoughts for later entries...
I've seen so many great writers on live journal and diary land, it makes me aww just reading their entries.
Have you ever just wished you wrote as good as them?
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| Introduction |
[04 Jan 2005|12:06am] |
What is love?
When you look it up in the dictionary you get a pretty long list of terms.
In my case Dictionary.com :-)
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3.
1. Sexual passion.
2. Sexual intercourse.
3. A love affair.
4. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
6. An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
7.
1. A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
2. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
8. Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.
9. often Love Christianity. Charity.
10. Sports. A zero score in tennis.
v. loved, lov·ing, loves
v. tr.
1. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends.
2. To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).
3. To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.
4.
1. To embrace or caress.
2. To have sexual intercourse with.
5. To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming.
6. Theology. To have charity for.
7. To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air.
v. intr.
To experience deep affection or intense desire for another.
Idioms:
for love
Out of compassion; with no thought for a reward: She volunteers at the hospital for love.
for love or money
Under any circumstances. Usually used in negative sentences: I would not do that for love or money.
for the love of
For the sake of; in consideration for: did it all for the love of praise.
in love
1. Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love.
2. Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice.
no love lost
No affection; animosity: There's no love lost between them.
[Middle English, from Old English lufu. See leubh- in Indo-European Roots.] <--- Who cares for that part?
Synonyms: love, affection, devotion, fondness, infatuation
These nouns denote feelings of warm personal attachment or strong attraction to another person. Love is the most intense: marrying for love. Affection is a less ardent and more unvarying feeling of tender regard: parental affection. Devotion is earnest, affectionate dedication and implies selflessness: teachers admired for their devotion to children. Fondness is strong liking or affection: a fondness for small animals. Infatuation is foolish or extravagant attraction, often of short duration: lovers blinded to their differences by their mutual infatuation.
The dictionary has its definition for love and I have mines just like people have their own, but yet most of our own definitions will give the same story.
This is what I call...Only the beginning to things here.
Here, you will find my daily life thoughts, my feelings, my words on love...If anyone ever needed to just talk to someone about it or needed something that may help or inspire, or just whatever. This is my life and this may be someone else's. Love makes the world cruel, Love makes the world happy. Welcome to this confusing world where happiness is the pain and pain is the happiness.
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